


Better

by padalelli



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Sam, Boyfriend Sam, Bruises, Choking, Dean to the Rescue, F/M, Loving Sam, Possessed Sam, The Impala - Freeform, beatings, demon abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 17:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2356232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padalelli/pseuds/padalelli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam goes missing and it doesn't take long for Dean to panic. You find Sam in the bunker, but it isn't the Sam you've come to know and love. And you take a beating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better

**Author's Note:**

> I AM SO SORRY I DIDNT POST YESTERDAY ILL TRY TO POST 2 TOMORROW ❤️❤️❤️

You were so exhausted from the hunt you just went on with the brothers that you decided to stay back at the bunker and sleep. They went ahead and headed to a bar for the night. They told you they'd bring you back some food. You went to the room you and Sam shared. You had been with him for about eight months and it was the best relationship you could've possibly found yourself in. You changed into pajamas- aka a tank top and underwear- and crawled into bed, setting your phone on the nightstand. A couple of hours later, you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. "Hm?" you answered sleepily.  
"[Y/N], is Sam there?" Dean asked frantically from the other side.  
"No, why? Is he on his way back?" you asked.  
"No. That's the thing. He's missing, I can't find him anywhere."  
"Okay, well, just calm down. He's gotta be somewhere. Where did you last see him?" you asked, sitting up.  
"He was going to grab something from the Impala and he never came back. And my baby's gone from the parking lot."  
"Sam never would've stolen her," you said, shaking your head. "Let me call him, kay?"  
"You don't think I've tried calling him? It's going straight to voicemail."  
"Okay, well, give me a second and I'll call you back, okay? Just calm down, Dean." Dean hyperventilates from the other end and you hang up and call Sam. He doesn't answer, but you hear a phone ringing faintly in the distance.  
You climb out of bed and wander around with your phone until the ringing gets more and more audible. You find Sam in the kitchen, his back to you. "Oh thank god, you're here," you sighed, relieved. "Why'd you take Dean's car? He's freaking out, you know," you said.  
Sam turned around. "Oh, crap. Sorry about that," he said. He walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you. You smiled, and he kissed you again, this time more urgently. He began to dig his nails into your sides, and it broke the skin, hurting you.  
You pushed him away. "Sam, what are you doing?" you asked, a disgusted and saddened look on your face. He just smiled, but it wasn't the Sam smile you were used to; it was the smile of someone else, someone who didn't love you. You quickly pulled out your phone and speed dialed Dean, but 'Sam' smacked it out of your hand and onto the floor, breaking it. "Sam, you're scaring me," you said.  
He grabbed your throat and slammed you against a wall. You knew immediately that this wasn't your Sam, but he still scared you. You knew you'd never be able to look at Sam fearlessly now. You grabbed at his hand, trying to remove it from your throat, trying to say something, but he held all the power here, not you. Just as your lack of oxygen was causing you to lose consciousness, he dropped you and you fell onto the concrete floor, crying out in pain and choking for air. "Oh, sweetie," Sam said. "Looks like your knight in shining armor isn't so invincible." He unbuttoned his shirt and showed you where his anti-possession tattoo used to be, where now there were only singe marks. As he paced around you, you tried to crawl away, but you were pretty sure you had fractured your arm on the way down to the floor, and you struggled. Tears began to fill your eyes and 'Sam' knelt down beside you. "I hope you know how mentally and emotionally unhealthy this guy is. I mean, it could really put a damper on your relationship." He stroked your cheek and then slapped it with all his strength. You cried out from the pain it inflicted upon you. You wish you could've fought back, but in your condition it only would've made things worse. You were still wheezing because your throat was slightly closed.  
Every time you started to form a word, Sam would beat you in some way or another. You tried so hard not to start bawling in fear of making things even worse. "Why are you doing this?!" you were finally able to choke out.  
He knelt down again. "Because you're his weak spot," was all the demon said.  
After several minutes of torture, Dean ran into the kitchen and threw salt and holy water onto Sam and was able to capture him and put him in the dungeon so he could interrogate the demon and exorcise it after extracting information. Once Sam's body was secure, Dean rushed back to you, bloody, bruised, and broken in the kitchen. He picked you up and carried you into your room and set you on the bed and cleaned you up. You were trembling all the while and even after he left, you shook like a chihuahua. You were so weak it didn't take much for you to fall asleep.  
When you woke up, the room was still empty. You tried to get up to take a shower, but the pain was too severe. You called out for Dean. Within moments, he was in the room. "What do you need?" he asked, concerned.  
"I need to bathe," you moaned.  
"Don't worry about it, okay? I don't care how clean you are, really. You need to rest with all your injuries," Dean said, adjusting your pillows and sheets.  
"Have you gotten anything out of the demon?" you asked him.  
"Yeah, I'm almost done talking to him. I'll send Sam in once he's demon-free."  
"No, please don't," you said quickly. Dean gave you a questioning look. "He scares me," you said quietly, almost inaudible.  
"You know that was a demon that did that to you, right? It wasn't actually Sam," he said.  
"I know, I know. But it was still Sam's body. And I saw it act a way I never wanted to see it," you said.  
"Okay," Dean replied, leaving you alone.  
Despite your requests, you woke up a little while later to Sam sitting at the foot of your bed. He was wearing his puppy dog face and that's how you knew he was himself. "[Y/N]?" he asked. You scrambled to get out of bed, but it hurt you too much. Sam reached out to help you, and you let him for the time being so that you could get up and go to the bathroom. You closed the door behind you, forgetting to lock it. You took off your tank top, cringing because it hurt so bad. But you didn't want Sam to hear you, see what he had done to you.  
No, it wasn't Sam. Sam hadn't done this to you. It was that hellbitch. The demon did it to you. Sam had nothing to do with it. Even more so. You didn't want to see what someone else did to you in his body. You observed your new bruises all over yourself. They covered a large fraction of your skin. You held your hands on top of them as if it would make them go away. Sam came in after a few minutes and walked up behind you, placing his hand on top of a bruise by your shoulder. You cringed under his touch. You had been so accustomed to his touching you sweetly and endearingly that just the one day of beatings by him mortified you. "[Y/N], I'm so sorry," he said weakly. "I feel awful."  
"Why?" you asked just as weakly.  
"Because I saw him. I saw him do this to you and I couldn't stop it. I don't know how I let him possess me in the first place. It never should've happened."  
"Well, don't feel bad," you said. You meant it but you also didn't mean it. You knew that if he felt bad, that would allow the demons to get what they wanted from him, whatever that was. But part of you wanted him to be so sweet on you that it made you forget what the demon did.  
"I can't not feel bad. Look at you. Look at what he did to you. Look at me. You can't, you can't look at me the way you used to. I hate not seeing your eyes light up the way they used to," he said.  
You looked into his eyes in his reflection in the mirror. "How can I?" you asked. "I'm so ugly and broken. You don't think I'm beautiful anymore. I can't be happy when you see me and all you get is this. This weak body covered in purple and brown marks," you said, closing your eyes.  
Sam gently traced his hands over your body, petting all of your bruises. "I think you're beautiful no matter what. I'm upset when I see you because I see you hurting. Not because I think you aren't beautiful anymore," he says. You lean back into him and he gently kisses your shoulder up to your neck. "How can I fix this? How can I make you feel better, beautiful?"  
You were getting use to the old displays of affection again and your breathing grew more even, more relaxed. "Just take care of me," you murmured. You opened your eyes again and fear shot back through your spine when you saw Sam again. You didn't want it to be like that, but you couldn't do anything to stop your reaction. You moved away from his touch and grabbed your robe as you left the bathroom, wrapping it around yourself. Sam turned around when you left, but didn't follow you. He figured it would be better not to. You sat down in the middle of the bed and pulled your knees to your chest, rocking back and forth.  
Sam appeared in the doorway. "I know this is hard for you. But I'm here now and I'm myself and I'm never going to let anything hurt you ever again. I promise. I love you so much, [Y/N]," he said.  
"I love you too, but I can't fix myself, Sam. I see you, and I get scared."  
"I don't expect you to fix yourself. But I know you're strong enough to get past it," Sam said. "You were fine a second ago when you couldn't see me, right?" You nodded. "So what if I hold you again and you close your eyes and tell yourself it's me; think of me. Not demon me, think of me me. The real me that loves you and will do anything to make you feel better. And then we can ease into it."  
You nodded again and closed your eyes and laid down on your back on the bed. You felt Sam get in bed next to you and he gently pulled you by the waist so that you were curled up in his arms on your side, facing his chest. He ran his hands over the fabric of your robe and tenderly kissed any exposed skin he could find, whether it was bruised or not. As he was doing this, you tried to block the demon from your mind completely and told yourself that it was just your Sam trying to help you feel safe. You had to do a lot of imagining your past happy memories with Sam in order to keep the demon out, but eventually you were able to do it effortlessly. You slowly opened your eyes and pushed yourself away from him a little so that you could look up at his face. His hazel eyes made you melt, just like they used to, and a smile emerged on his lips after seeing you not so traumatized. "I see you," you said, smiling and stroking his face with your good arm.  
"Good," he said. "Because you'll be having to see me a lot while I take care of you."  
You smiled again and gently kissed his lips. They were sweet and gentle and eliminated the remnant memories of what he did the other day- what the demon did. He held you in his arms all day and all night, touching you and kissing you in the best of ways. He continued to be sweet like this on you until your bruises went away. The way he took care of you told you that he would do everything in his power to make sure you'd never experience that trauma again. Especially not by him. You'd already thought he was the best boyfriend ever, but he somehow managed to step up his game and become even better. And it wasn't even annoying how great he was because he would always tell you what a good girlfriend you were. He certainly did make you feel better. Not just about him, about everything.


End file.
